All Night..

For the first time in my life,
I saw the new sun;
The Reason, I never slept,
Yes, I was praying all night…

For the second time in my life,
I felt pain in my chest;
The Reason, my heart wept,
Yes, I was crying all night…

I called you an angel,
I saw wings at your side;
The Reason, I was in sky,
Yes, I was flying all night…

You forgot to say good night,
I forgot my sleep;
The Reason, I was missing you,
Yes I was dying all night…

I said, we’ve so much in common,
We would end up being one;
The Reason, I really hoped that to be true,
Yes, I was counting all night…

You said, you’ve no words to praise me,
I lied motionless for an hour;
The Reason, I never felt so good,
Yes, I was grinning all night…

I said, I never lie,
Then I thought of you and me;
The Reason, I was assuring myself,
Yes I was lying all night…

You said, I should’ve told you before,
What difference could that have made;
The Reason, I was not a competitor,
Yes, I was trying all night…

My love is hopeless; it carved its home in me,
And GOD !! I was sweating;
The Reason, the home was in ashes,
Yes, I was burning all night…

My loves die, even before they are born,
And my feet were muddy;
The Reason, I was in a graveyard,
Yes, I was mourning all night…

The Paradox...

Your heart listens in silence,
The secrets of the days and the nights..
But your ears thirst for the sound,
Of your heart's pleas and plights..

Your fingers sense the unknown,
Knowing its a mirage or a delusion..
But your senses touch the brinks,
Feeling some truth or may be some fiction..

Your mind tells the days to come,
Life will remain always evergreen..
But your soul never wishes to believe,
Of that one wonder or that one gleam..

Ah !!!

Go Ogle..

Well.. The post name is "Go Ogle"..
Ogle means :"To glance with amorous invitation or challenge"
LoL..!! Thats what happened when I took this Tag from Cinderella...
I found some whacky answers n' just kept Ogling to my FireFox webpage...!!!

This Tag commands me to type "my name + needs" in Google searchbar.. n' to share the results with ya' all.... (Phew..!!)

Well Here's what I Got... (I hate Google.. BigTime !!)

I. Needs to have the game in this drive "d:\games......."
(Yeah.. Right.. Am A Video Game Freak Anyway..!!)

II. Needs a 5" fork to hit the right angles..
(DuH..!! Now What I'll do with the rest ??? Haan ?? :X)

III. Need times to be in our body instead of our heads and to feel the ecstasy of letting go..
(Oooooooooo.. Really..!!!)

IV. Needs a new direction, and I really do belive that the old formula was a good one..
(A New Direction Based On Old Formulae ?? Thats Insane...!!)

V. Need to have 140bpm..
(Whts That ?? "HeartBeats Per Minute ??" Dude.. I'll be Some Super-Man Then...)

VI. Need to bring up another issue before I enter..
(Oh..!! Please... :'( )

VII. Need to do drugs to enjoy..
(Nah... No Fuc**n' Way.. Ok..!!)

VIII. Needs even less of an introduction than Richie Hawtin..
(Oh Yeah.. ?? Am I That Famous ??)

IX. Needs to be happy but actually what you find is there's a lot more emotional energy at the bad end of the spectrum than there is at the happy end of the spectrum..
(This Made Me Think Again...)

X. Needs an instrument in the world for good..
(Oh..!! Don't Worry About That..!! Hehe..!!)

XI. Needs to be Grounded into your body as well, and the Axiatonal Initiation also includes an extremely effective fourfoot diameter..
(Four Foot Diameter..!! You mean Two Foot Radius ????? Are Giants Still Alive ??? Jeez..!!!)

XII. Needs to feel understood and loved..
(sob !! sob !!)

XIII. Need RealPlayer installed..
(Ye.. Ye.. Its in my Cellphone Too..!!)

XIV. Needs to loose weight!..
(Oww.. Google wants me to be Invisible..Hmmm!!)

XV. Needs more sub-bass..
(Ow.. I thought thats "subtle-ass" !!! ThankGod...)

XVI. Needs to feel you..
(Ahem..!! Someone told me.. Only Female Bloggers Visit This Blog..!!! :P)

XVII. Needs something to convince him that this suffering is worthwhile..

XVIII. Needs a technology development and integration specialist..
(Aur Unko Leke Achaar Daloon Kya ?? Am An Animator For Godsake..!!!)

XIX. Needs thousands of heads..
(One Head n' its aching like Hell.... Who Needs A Thousand ??)

XX. Needs cards in his graveyard..
(No Comments..!!)

Dunno' What To Say Now.......
But Google Sucks In This Case Atleast.......!!!



Who needs to Cry,
Who needs the Pain..
Who needs to Wait,
Sunny days are over n' its only going to Rain....

Crying was the Root,
Crying was the Strain..
Crying lost its Faith,
Now it seems, It was all only for Vain....

Who owns Whom,
Who rules the Sky ??
Who wishes Agony,
To enlight dark spaces, we only give a Try....

You still have your Heart,
You want to bring it out of its Hide..
You want to question It,
Do you think for the neighbour, who just made a Suicide....

End is Inevitable,
End is the Key..
End marks a new Begining,
It holds the whole future, and forces you to See....

Blades Only know to Hurt,
Blades Only enjoy the Pain..
Blades never came on your Freewill,
Never came to cut you again and Again....

Life is a lesson my Heart,
Life tells us somany things New..
Life shows us the People,
People who were among the Few....



Tagged by Aqua Gal, My First Tag..!!!
The "Mosaic Tag"....

Umm... The Rules Are Well.....

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers. (Well I Used Photoshop Instead !!!)

N' The Questions Are:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your user name?

Here I Am...!!!

Hope it turned out well....
:) !!

N' I Tag...


n' Thanx Aqua Gal.... NJoyed Doin' It..
ChaO !!

A Dream World..

Kahin toh.. kahin toh..
Hogi woh,
Duniya jahan tu mere saaath hai..
Chaha mein chaha tu,
Aur jahan bas tere mere zajbaat hain..

Hogi jahan saba teri,
Palkon ki kirano mein..
Lori jahan chand ki,
Sune teri bahon mein...

Jane na kahan woh duniya hai..
Jane na woh hai bhi ya nahi..
Jahan meri zindagi mujhse,
Itni khafa nahi..........


Living in a shell... Sometimes it Really hurts like Hell..
Hai Na...!!
Yeah.. Sometimes you want to go away..
Just Leave Everythin' Visible Or Audible Maybe.. N' Go..
Just Go..
Go To a place where nobody'll be there but the one you Adore like A Bliss...

Is There A World Like That Anywhere ??

Stings and Pain.. They are so Hard n' Frequent..
Hah.. They almost make the target Immune...
And in that moment of Immunity..
In That Moment Of Immobility..
You Dream...
It doesn't matter what you Dream..
It doesn't matter what youe See..
It doesn't matter what you Perceive..
What only matters is that you still have the ability to Dream...

I know One day will come.. & I'll lose that Ability too...
Coz' I'll be a Dream Then...

Yeah.. You Guessed Right.. Am Goin' Crazy....
And Its Not A Dream...


A Song For Me...

Know that I loved you from the start,
Know that I believed in who we are,
I never dreamed my life this way..

Don't wish upon a falling star,
Love will remind us who we are,
I dreamed a dream so much is changed..

Wake, you've been sleeping;
And tell me what to believe in;
You fell so far.. You should have been a star...

Before the light begins to fade,
I was hoping that you'd show me the way,
To never ever be afraid to change..

Wake, you've been sleeping;
And tell me what to believe in;
Wake, you've been sleeping;
You pushed too far now you're bleeding..
You fell so far.. You should have been a star...

The light that you've been keeping inside,
Will guide you on your way....


This Is Very Close To Me...
Hah.. Stars..
They'll Be Just The Same.. Age After Age...
They'll Only Stay There n' Keep Laughing At You n' Your Miserable Wishes...

(The Song Can Be Heard At The Right Hand Panel..)

Ek Aur Anek..

This is A Cute 2d Animation From "Film Division India", Which Tells About The Power Of Unity...
I Always GoBack To My Kiddo' Days When I Used To Watch It In DoorDarshan (DD) With Such Interest And Enthusiasm...

Hope U Like It..!!!


Have You Ever Seen Somebody More Cuter Then This Angel ???
I Havenot..


Look What You've Done...

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone


Song Of The Soul...

In the depth of my soul there is A wordless song -
a song that lives In the seed of my heart...
It refuses to melt with ink on Parchment;
it engulfs my affection In a transparent cloak and flows,
But not upon my lips...

How can I sigh it?
I fear it may Mingle with earthly ether...
To whom shall I sing it?
It dwells In the house of my soul, in fear of Harsh ears...
When I look into my inner eyes,
I see the shadow of its shadow;
When I touch my fingertips,
I feel its vibrations...
The deeds of my hands heed its Presence,
as a lake must reflect The glittering stars;
my tears Reveal it,
as bright drops of dew Reveal,
the secret of a withering rose...

It is a song composed by contemplation,
And published by silence,
And shunned by clamor,
And folded by truth,
And repeated by dreams,
And understood by love,
And hidden by awakening,
And sung by the soul.

It is the song of love;
What voice could sing it?
It is more fragrant than jasmine;
What voice could enslave it?
It is heartbound, as a virgin's secret;
What string could quiver it?

Who dares unite the roar of the sea,
And the singing of the nightingale?
Who dares compare the shrieking tempest,
To the sigh of an infant?
Who dares speak aloud the words,
Intended for the heart to speak?
What human dares sing in voice,

The song of The SOUL ??

Blame Not Me.. My Blamer...!!

Here I come again,
The same old paths wondering at me..
Asking Where I left my precious..
Did she vanish from my tortured soul....

And I Say..

Leave me, my Blamer,
For the sake of the love,
Which unites your soul with That of your beloved one...
And leave me to my own Weeping Heart...
That heart which I want to pullout,
to bring him out from his prison,
And to carry him on my palms..
To examine him in depth And extract his secret..
Don't let your arrows hurt him,
And make him bleed the blood,
As a sacrifice at the alter of his Own faith...
I want to free him from the Quilted slumber of wrong..
Do not Detain me My Blamer !

Advice me not my Blamer,
For ruthless pains have scattered my Heart,
And Magmanic Tears have cleansed my eyes,
And falls have taught me the depth of my agony,
And Distances have spoken the language of the hearts...

Relate me not my Blamer,
The tales of wealth and greatness..
For My Soul is rich with your memoirs,
And those are enough to survive for a lifetime,
I don't care what the ultimatum is...

Remember me not my Blamer,
For I am like dusts in a storm,
Many will come and many will go...
And You can't even keep count....

You'll be blameless my Blamer,
For all the blames I take on me..
If someday your soul asks for judgement,
Tell Her to come, and to talk to me....
My lonely nights, my empty thoughts will give her a clue,
My flooding eyes, my parching lips will tell her what is true...

Will Tell Her What Is True........


Rain Down On Me...

And it rained last evening…

Have you noticed, when you desperately want something to happen.. It always comes out, right in front of your eyes in one way or the other..
I wished Rain….

I don’t know why but it has a miraculous effect.. Yea, Kneeling down in your terrace with rain all around.. No part of your body remains dry but your Heart.. All parched up.. And then the effort you make to create a path between the outer and the inner.. A tremendous endeavor to fill that fissure so that water can flow to the desert inside… Every pain, every ache, every twinge.. you just set them free to flow out through your skin and get earthed..
The Best thing is, you don’t feel the pinch of your tears.. Coz’ the water streaming down your face makes your tears part of her… and then there is no way to know the difference between your tears and the rain…

Its like you have thousand eyes.. Each one of them pouring themselves out…Finding and washing-out all the hidden nails that kept you awake night after night..

When a person loses his Gold, he consoles himself with the many other things life has to offer.. He meditates for a while and casts misfortune from his mind.. and then he finds himself healthy and still, laden with ambition..
But when a Man loses the ease of his Heart, where can he find comfort, and with what can he replace it ? What mind can master it ? When death strikes close by, he’ll suffer.. But when the day and night pass, he’ll feel the smooth touch of the soft fingers of life; and then he’ll smile and rejoice…

Rain tells you that…

Destiny.. Ha..!! Destiny comes suddenly, bringing concern; she stares at you with horrible eyes and clutches you at the throat with sharp fingers and hurls you to the ground and tramples upon you with ironclad feet; then she laughs and walks away, but later regrets her actions and asks you through someway or the other to forgive her. She stretches forth her silky hands and lifts you high and sings to you the song of Hope and causes you to lose your cares. She creates in you a new zest for confidence and ambition, and becomes an inseparable part of your soul….

Rain tells you that…

If your lot in life is a beautiful bird that you love dearly, you gladly feed to it the seeds of your innerself, and make your Heart its cage and your Soul its nest. But while you are affectionately admiring it and looking upon it with eyes of love, it escapes from your hands and flies very high; to never comeback again… What can you do ? Where can you find patience ? How can you revive your Hopes and Dreams ? What power can still your turbulent Heart ???
…May be cages and nests are illusion.. They were never there at the first place…..

Ah..!! I am missing you today Ritu.. With every raindrop on me I feel your essence.. Your touch of that unyielding promise of friendship.. I miss it.. Thanx for the rain though.. You know what I need, don’t ya ??

I feel you.. I receive your raindrops and I’ll kneel down till the rain stops…..

I Hope It Rains Every Evening…… Amen..!!


It is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind,
That you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and therefore unto yourself.

And for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed.

Often times have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world.
But I say that even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond the highest which is in each one of you.
So the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower than the lowest which is in you also.
And as a single leaf turns not yellow but with the silent knowledge of the whole tree, So the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of you all.

The murdered is not unaccountable for his own murder,
And the robbed is not blameless in being robbed.
The righteous is not innocent of the deeds of the wicked,
And the white-handed is not clean in the doings of the felon.

Yea, the guilty is oftentimes the victim of the injured.
And still more often the condemned is the burden bearer for the guiltless and unblamed.

Who are you to judge unless you see the victim and see upon all his deeds in the fullness of light ?

No, but you will make them more miserable by stating that they offended your decorum in front of your best mates, though they never whispered anything about you.
How can they say you were wrong when in heart they still worship you ???

Making them feeble, Making them lose their sense of worth in front of the whole humanity, and Making them listen to the Cruelest allegations of populace who never knew the core….

What shall I say of those who stand in the sunlight, but their backs to the sun ?
They see only their shadows, and their shadows are their laws.

And what is the sun to them but a caster of shadows ?

Brief were my days with you, and briefer still the words I have spoken.
But should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your memory, I’ll not come again.
And though death may hide me, and the greater silences enfold me, I’ll never seek your understanding.

If aught I have said is truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in words more kin to your thoughts.
Man’s needs change, but not his love, nor his desire that his love should satisfy his needs.

So what, In the stillness of the night I have walked in your streets, and my spirit has entered your house…
So what, Your heartbeats were in my heart, and your breath was upon my face, and I knew you…
So what, I knew your joy and your pain, and in your sleep your dreams were my dreams…
So what, I mirrored the summits in you and the bending slopes, and even the passing flocks of your thoughts and your desires…
So what, No visions, no expectations, no presumptions can outsoar my flight…

So what, If you forget it all…???

Less than a promise have I given, and yet more generous have you been to me.
You have given me my deeper thirsting after life.
Surely there is no greater gift to a man than that which turns all his aims into parching lips and all life into a fountain.
And in this lies my honor and my reward------
That whenever I come to the fountain to drink I find the living water itself thirsty;
And it drinks me while I drink it. Amen..!!

And a good deed that calls itself by tender names becomes the parent to a curse.
It was the truth, Angel…

And if you could hear the whispering of that truth, of that dream you would hear no other sound.

But you do not see, nor do you hear, and it is well.
The veil that clouds your eyes shall be lifted by the hands that wove it,
And the clay that fills your ears shall be pierced by those fingers that kneaded it.

And you shall see.
And you shall hear.
Yet you shall not deplore having known blindness, nor regret having been deaf.
For in that day you shall know the hidden purposes in all things.

And you shall bless darkness as you would bless light…..

God Bless…..

Life After Life

At the high-tide of night, when the first breath of dawn came upon the wind, the Soul seeker, he who calls himself echo to a voice yet unheard, left his bed-chamber and ascended to the roof of his house. Long he stood and looked down upon the slumbering city. Then he raised his head, and even as if the sleepless spirit of her who was asleep, encircled him, he opened his lips and spoke, and he said :

" My friend, you who daily pass by my gates of consciousness, I would speak to you in your sleep, and in the valley of your dreams I would walk naked and unrestrained; far heedless are your waking hours and deaf are your soundburdened ears."

" Long did I love you and overmuch."

" I love you as though you are all, and all are you. And in the spring of my heart I sang in your gardens, and in the summer of my heart I watched at your threshing floors."

" You the strong, have I loved, though the marks of your iron hoofs are yet upon my flesh; and you the weak, though you have drained my faith and laughed at my patience."

" You the poet with the barrowed lute and blind fingers, you have I loved in self-indulgence; and you the critic, ever gathering clandestine shrouds in my vacant fields."

" You the priest I have loved, who sits in the silences of yesterday questioning the fate of my tomorrow; and you the worshipper of Gods the image of your own desires."

" You the thirsting woman whose cup is ever full, I have loved in understanding; and you the woman of restless nights, I have loved in compassion."

" You the talkative have I loved, saying, ‘Life hath much to say’; and you the dumb have I loved, whispering to myself, ‘Says she not in silence that which I fain would hear in words?’ "

" You the judge, I have loved also; yet when you have seen me crucified, you said, ‘He bleeds rhythmically, and the pattern his blood makes upon his white skin is beautiful to behold.’ "

" Yea, I have loved you in all your forms."

" But alas! It was the over abundance of my heart that turned you from me. You would drink love from a cup, but not from a surging river. You would hear love’s faint murmur, but when love shouts you would muffle your ears."

" And because I have loved you all you have said, ‘Too soft and yielding is his heart, and too undiscerning is his path. It is the love of a needy one, who picks crumbs even as he sits at kingly feasts. And it is the love of a weakling, for the strong loves only the strong.’ "

" And because I have loved you overmuch you have said. ‘It is but the love of a blind man who knows not the beauty of one nor the ugliness of another. And it is the love of the tasteless who drinks vinegar even as wine. And it is the love of the impertinent and the overweening, for what stranger could be our own ?’ "

" And I say, ‘I’ll love you more, Aye, even more. I’ll hide my love with seeming to hate, and disguise my tenderness as bitterness. I’ll wear an iron mask, and only when armed and mailed shall I seek them.’ "

" Thus with my lips have I denounced you, while my heart, bleeding within me, called your tender names."

After saying these, the Soul seeker covered his face with his hands and wept bitterly. For he knew in his heart that love humiliated in its nakedness is greater than love that seeks triumph in disguise; and he was in pain.

But he waited in his heart for that one moment when the night will end, and the children of night will die when dawn comes leaping upon the hills; and out of their ashes a mightier love shall rise. And it shall laugh in the sun, and it shall be deathless……..